Perspective

I’ve been reflecting on just how much has changed in the 4 weeks since my fibroid removal surgery. The time off from work, fundraising and training now feels like a gift in that I’ve not been distracted and been able to reflect deeply on life.

As I slowly emerge from this first phase of recovery, I feel like I’ve gained perspective on things and allowed my brain the rest it needed to be able to recognise new possibilities. But, most importantly, I’ve emerged with a strong sense of self, and I’ve realised the need to implement some key actions to help me achieve my goals.

Exercise my Agency

Life’s thrown me some pretty awful curveballs in the last decade, particularly when it comes to my health. But now, especially after this last surgery I feel like the world could finally truly become my oyster. I have the chance to live a life that’s no longer burdened by physical pain or restricted by the anxiety of not knowing when the next fatigue bout will hit. And now that this weight has been lifted, I feel there’s more freedom to plan and it’s simply wonderful!

Reinforce My Boundaries

I really struggle with reinforcing boundaries that I’ve set for myself at work and in my personal life and that has at times caused me more stress and anxiety. Saying no can sometimes feel like you’re being mean, unkind, or even lazy. But, by saying no, or not right now, you’re actually giving yourself the time and energy to create the space necessary to excel at the tasks in hand.

I’m guilty of becoming so used to being turned down or dismissed that when an opportunity presents itself, I feel rather foolish for considering and rejecting it rather that accepting. But I’m learning that it really does pay to examine things thoroughly, to see if they align with your vision, goals, and values before accepting. A kind no can often be the best course of action.

Protect My Energy

The first thing that can often spring to mind when people mention ‘protecting your energy’ is blocking out negativity or distancing yourself from negative and hurtful people. Now whilst this is a key element, I think it’s also important to actively seek out and surround yourself with people who challenge, educate, inspire, and encourage you. As you protect your energy, you make space for your character to grow making it easier to be gracious and kind even when a situation may not warrant it.

Recovery: Living out "Go slow to go far"

It’s been 2 weeks since my fibroid removal surgery and I’ve spent it sometimes embracing the process of recovery and other times raging at the fact that I’m so much slower at everything.

The surgery was a success and they ended up discovering more fibroids than we initially thought I had. My blood loss during the surgery was minimal, which meant that my post-op recovery got off to a good start!

The first thing I noticed as the anesthesia wore off was how bloated my entire body was after surgery. As I had laparoscopic surgery, they inserted CO2 gas into my abdomen so that the surgeon could see my organs clearly and have better room to maneuver and work. The pain from all that trapped gas felt worse than the pain from the surgery for the first few days. But even with all the pain I refused to take any morphine because I wanted to avoid the extra recovery time it would take to allow my system to process that as well as everything else. Please note that I am by no means advocating not taking morphine post-surgery, I was just fortunate that my pain was borderline bearable, so I felt I didn’t need it. It’s important to always listen to your body and the medical advice you’re given!

I feel like recovery began in earnest this week as I spent most of last week resting. I now go for very slow walks, increasing the distance covered daily. I also do some mobility exercises a few times a day and I can already feel my body getting stronger. The thing I’m struggling with the most is the speed at which I move and my capacity to do stuff. Now let me preface this by saying that I’m well aware that I’m fortunate that my recovery so far has been ahead of the curve, but still, I want more!

I miss the physicality of strenuous exercise, the way my legs felt after a long tyre pull or how my body felt after an intense workout at the gym. But I’m determined to allow my body the time it needs to heal properly so I can avoid being injured or getting a hernia, so I’m learning to embrace zone 1 training.

The whole process has really made me more empathetic to the elderly. How on earth does one deal with diminished strength and mobility when one mind is still as sharp as ever?!